Before I started a relation with the girl, I never seriously thought of the standard I should have. Whether she fits well with your standard for love or marriage or not. I should not turned a blind eye on this or accepted the standard of love at first but the standard of marriage later. I should have had a clear mind that what kind of girl fits me well and watched her with patience. Fortunately, I didn’t do this. All the things happened in a sudden, without enough careful considerations. I just comply with her sometimes, which means she should not be to blame with respect to being no principles and bottom lines as I did nothing to stop her.

Secondly, I should not mentioned other girls or the things they involved in during our relationship. It sounds like a rigorous rule that is hard to obey, but it could be an unconscious action existing in your mind. Like driving a car, the only difference is that the ruler of overspeed is in your mind instead of a clear figure. You think it is just an interesting piece of gossip with others, but the outcome is that you plant a seed of dissatisfaction, envy, or even hatred.

Thirdly, if you want to press the stop button, you should act decisively. I tried to show my respect to her or wanted to remain a friendship. But it ended up with an unclear relationship, leaving us huge space to cheat and betray each other since you want to show your merits. You want to show how attractive and how appealing you are. It creates an illusion that if you don’t chase me, you will get huge loss, as there are tons of people waiting in a queue. This twisted mind swallowed us in everything we did.

John Gray. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (Kindle Location 36). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

Fortunately perfection is not a requirement for creating great relationships.
Gender insight helps us to be more tolerant and forgiving when someone doesn’t respond the way we think he or she should.
You cannot, nor should you ever try to, change your partner. That is his or her job. Your job is to change the ways you communicate, react, and respond to your partner.
We have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be different. As a result our relationships are filled with unnecessary friction and conflict.
When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained.

Chapter 5 Speaking Different Languages

To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license and use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations. Men mistakenly take these expressions literally.
Women think out loud, sharing their process of inner discovery with an interested listener. Even today, a woman often discovers what she wants to say through the process of just talking. This process of just letting thoughts flow freely and expressing them out loud helps her to tap into her intuition. This process is perfectly normal and especially necessary sometimes.